Sephiroth and Aeris in the Nude!
by Akira Majere
Summary: -cough- This is what happens when you post a hentai pic of your fave characters on a list. ^^; VERY humorous and certain artist and authors make appearences. As well as Hojo getting naked. o_O;


Notes: All people who appear in this fic are either writers or artist who does Sepheris fics. =) If you can tell me what stories they wrote, you'll win brownie points. Princess K-chan will be making an appearence soon. mahahaha   
  
  
**Sephiroth and Aeris in the Nude!**  
  
SEPHIROTH: I've wanted to say this since the moment I laid eyes on you.   
  
AERIS (holding her breath): You, you don't mean...   
  
SEPHIROTH: I know you feel it too. I know you caught me watching you take that shower in the City of Ancients. You didn't protest. In fact, I think you kind of liked it.   
  
AERIS: I...I really don't know what to say. I've never felt anything like this before...   
  
SEPHIROTH: Oh, dreafully sorry then. ::backs up::   
  
AERIS: Say, uh, do you have the, uh, Black Materia?   
  
SEPHIROTH: ...?   
  
AERIS: Sorry, I'm trying to think of good pickup lines.   
  
SEPHIROTH: How about, "If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put I next to U"...?   
  
AERIS: But you just said it!   
  
SEPHIROTH: ...   
  
AERIS: ...   
  
SEPHIROTH: May I be OOC with you, Aeris?   
  
AERIS: I'm flattered that you trust me so much! Yes, of course.   
  
SEPHIROTH: I am so horny right now.   
  
AERIS: (musingly) Aren't we all...?   
  
(Both stand their and look about for a moment)   
  
AERIS: ::gasps:: Sephiroth... stop being so damn OOC and get your hand off my ass...   
  
SEPHIROTH: But it feels so RIGHT...!   
  
AERIS: You squeezed too hard! I'm gonna have bruises!   
  
SEPHIROTH: Really? May I rub cream all over them?   
  
AERIS: Well yes if you think that would help--HEY WAIT A MINUTE!   
  
SEPHIROTH: Hmph.   
  
(Silence for a moment. A distant whisper is heard)   
  
TETSUYA: But when is the hot body action going to occur?   
  
SILVER COUNTESS: Shhh, don't interrupt Aeris and Sephiroth!   
  
AKIRA: Yeah, this is the good part!   
  
TETSUYA: Let's see some hot hentai action!   
  
(Aeris and Sephiroth suddenly look towards the back window of the gondola. Silver Countess, Tetsuya, and Akira-chan are peeking through comically large cameras at them.)   
  
AERIS: I feel so dirty...   
  
SEPHIROTH: Good!   
  
AKIRA: ::impatient:: Well?   
  
AERIS: Well what?   
  
SILVER COUNTESS: Let's see the action start! We can make millions if we sell this to the right people!   
  
SEPHIROTH: ...?!   
  
TETSUYA: I got a producer online, so hurry up and lets get this thing going on...   
  
AERIS: ::bangs head against wall:: I feel sooooooo VERY dirty now...   
  
SEPHIROTH: ::stares::   
  
End Part 1!   
  
Begin Part 2!   
  
[Where we left our... friends... as they were standing with Silver Countess, Tetsuya, and Akira-chan as they discussed the Aeris and Sephiroth hentai movie...]   
  
  
SEPHIROTH: Damnit, I said no!   
  
AERIS: -is bright red from embaressment- I-I-i feel like taking a bath now... I feel so SHAMED.   
  
AKIRA: That's right... FEEL THE SHAME! -points finger at the Cetra- Because of you MILLIONS of fans will never see the erotic beauty that IS Aeris and Sephiroth!!!!   
  
-Silver Countress breaks down-   
  
TETSUYA: How could you be so CRUEL and SELFISH!? THIS GUILT FREE SEX!!!   
  
SEPHIROTH: ... well since you put it THAT way, I have no problem with -that-... -grin evilly and giggles. He stares at Aeris lustily-   
  
AERIS: HENTAI! -screams and maces Sephiroth, then quickly follows with smashing him with a gaint statue of Zack that appeared from no where.-   
  
-Sephiroth falls onto the ground, twitching.-   
  
AERIS: What he meant to say is "no". -glares-   
  
-Everyone eyes Aeris with GREAT fear-   
  
A MYSTERIOUS VOICE: HEYYY! Why did you all leave without ME?   
  
Tetsuya: oh shit!   
  
Silver Countess: -waves fan in attempts to wake up Sephiroth- Sweety, are you okay?!   
  
Akira: My dear Jenova! It's SAM!   
  
-Sam runs out from godknows where, leaps on Sephiroth, and plants a BIG OL'wet one on his lips-   
  
SEPHIROTH: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! -comes to, screaming and crawls away from Sam- OBSESSIVE FAN!   
  
-all fans there stare at him-   
  
SEPHIROTH: MORE OBSESSIVE FANS! -brusts into tears-   
  
AERIS: There, there Sephiroth! -cuddles him close-   
  
SEPHIROTH: -whimpers and cuddles his face... into Aeris' breasts-   
  
-Aeris does not notice-   
  
  
MEANWHILE!   
  
RAISA: It says here that a natural Aphrodisiac is Varity. -perverted giggle- As in exposing the subject to more then one mate!   
  
-stands up and laughs evilly-   
  
RAISA: HOHOHOHOHOKEKEKEKEKEHAHAHAWAHOHOHOHOHOHKEKEKEKEHAHAHAHA! -gasps for breath- MAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA. -hack- That's enough for now... COME TO ME MY MINION!   
  
-Minion appears-   
  
RAISA: Go! Go to that gongola and make Aeris and Sephiroth do it like wild bunnies!   
  
-Minion bows and leaves-   
  
RAISA: I WILL have my Hentai models for the bestestestest picture of Sephiroth and Aeris making love! MAHAHAAJHAKEKEKEKEHOHOHAHAHAAH!   
  
  
BACK WITH OUR 'HEROES'...   
  
AERIS: -kisses away Sephiroth's tears- Now, love, be strong. You know how I-...   
  
SEPHIROTH: how you?... -his hands 'accidently' caresses her breasts-   
  
AERIS: -sniffles and surpresses a gasp- Damnit, Sephiroth! I can bare this no longer! SEPHIROTH I LOVE ----!   
  
-Everyone, who Aeris and Sephiroth were oblivious till, drools in aticpation-   
  
ANOTHER MYSTERIOUS VOICE: STOP RIGHT THERE!   
  
-All the fans cry at this point-   
  
EVERYONE: Hojo?! -stares in amazement-   
  
SAM: My dear Planet... That's WRONG! BARE legs?...   
  
HOJO: BEHOLD! MY SEXYNESS! -opens his lab coat-   
  
-everyone, but Hojo and Akira, faint-   
  
AKIRA: -blinks- Why aren't you wearing anything under that?   
  
HOJO: Nakeness is freedom, damnit! -grumbles-   
  
AKIRA: -staring at her nails- That's nice...   
  
  
End Part 2!   
  
Begin Part 3!   
  
  
[Unwittingly, Silver Cloud and Racheal find themselves the Gondola, which is quite cramp with camera, camera men, Sephiroth, Aeris, and the other fans]   
  
  
HOJO: Touch my nipple! I'm sexy.   
  
AKIRA: -bored tone- No. You're nipple isn't. Vincent's is. I wanna lick his.   
  
ALL: ...   
  
SILVER CLOUD: Tell me I just didn't hear that...   
  
RACHEAL: -monitors the scene- WTF is this place?   
  
TATSUYA: -chrips cryptically in sleep- SEX!   
  
SAM: -moans in sleep- HENTAI!   
  
S. COUNTESS: -Sleep wears off and she stands up, she kicks the other two- Welcome to our world.   
  
AKIRA: I'd like to say we're not the villain. Someone else is. We're just the annoying Urd-type crowd. -gives 'V' sign-   
  
S. CLOUD: -see Hojo- mahahahahahahahahaha! -falls to the floor laughing- I. I . I.... I............. MAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!   
  
ALL: .... -sweat drop-   
  
S. CLOUD: -gasps- IT'S.... SO .... /SMALL/!!!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!   
  
ALL: -looks at Hojo, who attempting to cover himself now-   
  
TATSUYA: you know, you're right. You think with all his knowledge, he would have... ahhh...   
  
SAM: enhanced?   
  
TATSUYA: ahhh. yeah. -turns red-   
  
HOJO: Shut up! How would you know! I bet you never even seen one before...   
  
S. COUNTESS: not all of us are igorant like that... -looks at Tatsuya and winks- Besides, I had personal experience... ahhh... 'them' before   
  
TATSUYA: -bloody nose-   
  
AKIRA: -wakes up the stars of the story-   
  
AERIS: ... ick... tell me I didn't see...   
  
SEPHIROTH: Hojo with no pants on?   
  
AERIS: -pukes on Hojo- yes!   
  
HOJO: -brusts into tears- I'm a REAL MAN!   
  
SEPHIROTH: No, you're not! I am! -drops his drawers-   
  
ALL FEMALES: -stare.... and stare... and stare. Eyes are VERY VERY BIG-   
  
RACHAEL: Masamune... -hits chest to restart heart-   
  
SAM: Now... we know...   
  
S. CLOUD: that... sword... isn't   
  
S. COUNTESS: ...making... upppppp... -drool-   
  
AKIRA: lack offffffffffff -in heaven-   
  
AERIS: GREATNESS! -bright red and flustered-   
  
TATSUYA: What is people in this part and dropping their pants?   
  
AERIS: -covers his mouth- I DON'T MIND!!!   
  
CLOUD: -runs in- Stop corupting Aeris, Seph- =sees Sephiroth and curls up into a ball on the floor and cries=   
  
CAMERA MEN: We're still filming!   
  
TATSUYA: -sputters- but, but!!!!!!   
  
SEPHIROTH: I WIN! -attempts to strike a... ah... pose. Girls get a bloody nose at this-   
  
HOJO: No fair! -cries- Yours is all firm and big...   
  
AERIS: -nods rapidly in agreement with Hojo's statement and leers at Sephiroth with naked lust-   
  
SEPHIROTH: And you're is all ratty and nasty! EWWWWWWWWW! What do you use it for?   
  
RACHEAL: -pukes on Hojo, who is already covered in vomit-   
  
TATSUYA: but...   
  
CLOUD: -chanting and crying- I will never be like Sephiroth. He is truly a SOLDIER and man... He is a GOD!   
  
TATSUYA: their...   
  
AERIS: -pounces on Sephiroth, knocking him to the ground-   
  
TATSUYA: only....   
  
ALL: -watches Aeris tear off Sephiroth's coat like a wild animal-   
  
TATSUYA: a pikachu dolls tied around their waists!   
  
AKIRA: -watches in amazement as the Sephiroth tries in vain to flee from lust-possesed Aeris- I know... This fic is R, not NC-17... yet.   
  
SEPHIROTH: meeep!!! NOT THERE!!! NOT MY PIKACHU DOLL!   
  
AERIS: -seductively- I bet that got your thunderbolt up! ^_~.   
  
HOJO: -is amazed at Aeris' strength and... ahhh.. you know-   
  
  
MEANWHILE!   
  
  
RAISA: WOW! My plan worked!!! -dances around and takes a deep breath- KEKEKEKEMAHAHAHAMOOAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHE!!! HENTAI! -whips out pencil-   
  
-Raisa begins to work, little does she know another Villain is about to enter... the ANTI-SEPHERIS-   
  



End file.
